Is my son unexpectedly looking forward to my answer “I don’t know”.
At lunchtime on Friday, my son asked:
“Can we go to the cinema today?” – he looks at his twin sister, with whom he understands himself from our point of view without words.
Me: “Today it’s going to be tight because I still want to complete some projects”
Me: “Tomorrow we’ll go on a trip together”
He doesn’t let up and continues to ask, “And on Sunday?”
Me: “I don’t know”
As I let my words work (at least that’s what I thought with my inflexible adult head), he cheered as if we already had the cards for Sunday:
He is so happy that you could see his radiance from behind, and looks triumphantly at his sister, who also seems to be really happy about this answer.
Honestly: I have never experienced anyone who is happy about “I don’t know”.
So I asked curiously and infected by the joy of my children:
“Why are you happy about this answer?”
My son: “Your answer is as good as agreed. In other words, we have nothing planned yet and there is no good reason to say no. Anything else would be excuses”
His sister, who says fewer words per second than he says, nodded in agreement and seems very happy and amused at the same time.
We really laughed afterwards and I had to secretly admit to myself: once again they showed me how differently we perceive things and situations. Where I don’t see a “good result” as an adult, they are already cheering.
Why not? He was right with his answer, because in this context the sentence “I don’t know” is as good as a YES. I haven’t seen it like that before.
I will think twice next time before giving an answer:-) and will also use this strategy among adults.
For the curious: we are now going to the cinema on Tuesday evening, as our selection “Jurassic World 3” will only then run. It was a clear YES:-)
“Life always finds a way”, right?:-)