… that I finally have a good job.”
I have heard this sentence so often from non-locals. People who trust me and open up to me.
I said this sentence to myself for a long time, so that I was “paralyzed” to address what really hurt me.
Especially when we are confronted in a foreign country with many applications and many visits to the authorities as well as apartment searches, strive for acceptance, work harder than the others to be recognized, we are so grateful for every sense of achievement that we no longer want to address pain.
Just like a conversation recently showed with a young woman who finally got a cool job. After a year, the salaries of the people she started with were increased, but her salary was not, although she gets feedback that she is delivering great results.
“Maybe it’s because I’m the only one with an immigrant background.”
She said, giving up.
I first questioned them to find out if these were just assumptions. She then said that her colleagues confirmed this.
I encouraged them to raise this issue.
She said, “Maybe I should just be grateful that I have a good job.”
I told her, “A resounding no.”
This is the mistake that I have also made before and that many minorities make. They assume that their minority aspect is the only reason why they are never really treated well like the others. And because the road to that point was so long, they should only be grateful.
I encouraged the woman to talk to her boss because he certainly doesn’t realize it.
Unfortunately, it is a phenomenon that I often experience with people in the minority (to be seen in context): they exclude themselves.
They hope that by working even harder and better, someone will acknowledge their efforts.
Your boss may not know what’s really bothering you until you bring it up.
This is where the power of dialogue comes into play, as well as the courage to take the first step.
I encourage you not to fall into the false gratitude trap. To the point of being too grateful to address what hurts you?
Within my family in Kenya, we always said: Gratitude is not just saying thank you, but the opportunity and the ability you have to take advantage of.
Today I add: Gratitude in the #Vielfalt means: not to limit yourself and not to let yourself be limited, as well as not to limit others. Know your value and appreciate the value of your employees, no matter where they come from.
And most of the time, your boss is just not aware of it. Speak up. Don’t be silent.
Through dialogues you create clarity.